Would you date yourself?

The subject of dating has been on my mind lately, and I'm sorry to all those who are dating/ are married. This post is kind of a shout out to all the single ladies : ).

I happened to stumble across a teaching series called "The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating" and was really impacted by it. It's a series taught be Andy Stanley about the way we should view relationships- it's mainly for single people, and the benefits of preparing for a relationship- so that will last the long haul.

One thing that really stood out to me, was this:

Are you the person you're looking for is looking for?

Right now, at this very moment, do you think you're someone who is datable? Now that might sound like a silly question, but it's a question that I have been asking myself lately. From the outside looking in, if I were a guy would I date me? And if not, what do I have to do to change that habit, or personality trait, or mindset, that I have been developing for the whole 20 years of my life?

A good amount of us have preferences, a set of attributes that we would to see in someone that would make them an ideal candidate to date. In fact, girls usually like to make up a list. And the list usually includes things like: Makes me laugh, is understanding, caring etc. -I'm excluding physical traits on purpose, because it isn't something we can really change.

We have a list of ideal things that would make up the ideal parter. But the flipside I guess is to ask ourselves that question, check ourselves against the list. Do we have the same traits that we are looking for in others in ourselves?

We have to prepare ourselves for the best chance at a life-long marriage. We have to prepare ourselves for commitment. Because it's not something that comes naturally to us, as the world has so clearly demonstrated. So we have to work on what we have to bring to the marriage, because the reality is A LOT of people come in bringing habits, things that they have been accumulating for years- debt, addiction, unforgiveness. They bring it in, and it has the potential to unravel a marriage.

Change takes work. Change takes time. And just because we love the other person, doesn't mean that change will come naturally. In the words of Andy Stanley "We spend a year planning our wedding, but seven developing our bad habits".

Let's not buy the fairytale that Hollywood is selling us. That people can do a 180 in a day, because they have found "the one", that because they've found the right person, marriage will be a breeze. We have to start developing good habits to replace the bad ones.

I guess what I'm saying is, let's start NOW. We're Powerhouse age, and not getting any younger. God wants us to have great relationships, it's time to take responsibility for our future. Let's start becoming the person we're looking for is looking for.

LL.